“It was mid-morning by the time that I managed to pull away from our duties at the castle. My skirts swished along the floor as I rapidly made my way down the corridor. Guards had been more alert along the hallways ever since the Konigin’s stroke. As my footsteps clicked along the floor, I soon heard an answering quiet thud fall in step with mine. The familiar blue vest swam into my peripheral, alerting me of my constant stalker. The hair on the back of my neck stood up. Panic always overwhelmed me whenever I was around him. My palms would go slightly dry, my tongue curling up inside my mouth as if unsure what to say. It was the task of being Freya that scared me. I wasn’t used to it, even if the people around me were. Dream Dani would definitely make a fool out of herself.
“I apologize for coming up so unexpectantly,” Simon offered, that husky voice sending that familiar shiver down my spine.
I watched him closely out of the corner of my eye, careful not to turn my head to make it obvious that I was staring at him. He had a strong profile and blond eyelashes framed his dark blue eyes. They flickered over to me now, causing me to jerk my gaze back in front of me, self-conscious of being caught. I let my gaze slide past to his face once more when he returned his gaze back to the floor in front of us. His thick lips parted, his dusky freckles filling out his angular face.
When I didn’t offer any words to satisfy his conversation, he sighed and continued.
“I didn’t-didn’t want to push you to marry me. It was all Sebastian’s idea once he-well, once he knew what my intentions were of you.”
I hastily turned my full attention to a wandering thread threatening to come loose from the bodice of my dress. Hopefully he was ignoring the flush that had risen to my cheeks.
“Why-why would I need to get married right now?”
This question threw him off, I could tell. He blinked rapidly at me as if unsure whether or not I was joking or as if that had never once occurred to him.
“Why wouldn’t you?”
“I have other, more important things to attend to.”
“As in?” he replied sharply, his eyes flashing a little but the light dimmed in them almost immediately as he bit his lip at the outburst.
“Pardon me, Freya, but I always thought I knew you better than that. You always liked a little bit of romance and-and-“
He stammered too much.
It was beginning to wear on my nerves when it struck me as this man-more like overgrown boy-was flustered at knowing someone so intimately as he thought he did would surprise him so drastically in the past two days.
I was not acting very Freya-like, but at the same time, I wished that she had stuck up for herself just a little bit more than this. Whoever my dream had placed me in the shoes of, did not often speak her own mind about herself.
Chewing on my lip, I briefly looked back over my life. Dream Dani had no really much imagined a much different Freya to be honest. I took forever figuring out my own life, preferring to rule over Jaz’s-or in my dream-Dahlia’s much more than I liked to take authority of mine own.
I crossed my arms and rubbed the sides of my biceps while deep in thought. Simon was ever quick to notice any slight body language that I had, immediately began demanding that I should have brought a wrap.
“I’m not cold,” I admitted, wondering why I had gotten so used to the drafty castle as I had.
The dresses offered a thick protection against it, the rooms often heated by a fire anyway.
“I’m just not sure.”
I wasn’t entirely sure why I had admitted this to him, someone I barely even knew.
Freya knew him.
But I wasn’t Freya.
“Not sure about marrying me?”
He sounded wounded now, his voice cracking slightly at the end.
My eyes raked over his, his expression a pitiful mixture of his perplexed confusion and hurt.
My chest burned coldly, a touch of guilt.
“Not sure about anything, Simon. Not just marrying you. I don’t wish it. Even Mother Silva-“
My mouth had gotten too far ahead of me; I watched his eyes change from confusion to something much darker, almost sinister. I recoiled from his side, this side frightening me.
He must have noticed my withdrawl, the fire dimming again in his eyes as he gripped my elbow apologetically.
“Mother Silva?” he prompted, the sorrow filling his voice, making it very difficult for me not to throw my arms around his shoulders and hug him and confess that it wouldn’t be so bad marrying him. He was kind of a hottie and obviously cared about me.
Why had I said no?
“It has nothing to do with her. My commitment is to helping Dahlia and Mother Silva as long as I possibly can. My duty isn’t unto myself. The clever thing to do is marry for an intent at a peaceful reconstruction between the Houses.”
I was not entirely certain where that had come from my mind. I was perhaps trying a little too desperately to get his attention away from Mother Silva. I did not want to let him know that she entirely opposed it just as much as I did. I was not a bargaining chip but even as I spoke to him, I realized that I just didn’t want to marry him. The bargaining chip was only one part of it. If Dahlia genuinely had to have me marry someone, I realized that I would do it without hesitation. It was my duty, and I really did not care one way or another. My heart was squashed underneath a slight rebellion inside me whispering that I wanted more than that.
What about my Prince Charming like what Cinderella got or at least, true love like one of the Disney princesses?
The question I needed an answer to that my brain would not offer was this; why was I refusing Simon so strongly? Was it just because he vaguely reminded me of someone I once knew?
But Simon wasn’t an evil jerk. He was a lovable flirt that took too much for granted from me.
Wasn’t that what Josiah did? Just a little more modern about who he made out with in the backseat of his car…
Where had that come from?
I could not even remember the guy’s face.
“But I’m part of the Houses and we grew up together.”
He leaned forward, his eyes darting to the guards farther down the corridor.
I hadn’t realized that we had stopped in the middle of the hallway, nearly at the Dragon’s doorstep. There was no way that they could possibly overhear what we were saying. Most words drifted up into the vaulted ceilings and never strayed more than a few feet at a time. It made eavesdropping very difficult. I wasn’t quite certain whether I liked that or not.
“Remember, you said once when we were little that you would always-always- stay true to who you were. If you have any doubts against this decision, we can make it happen. Dahlia even wanted it. I’m part of the Houses; I’m part of the world that you need to get into.”
These words stung bitterly against my heart, my mind whirling with what he said.
I could sense that he was just trying to convince me-albeit poorly-to accept it. He obviously wanted to marry me, but I could not bring myself to agree. I pulled my arm abruptly out of his grasp, his fingers holding on too tightly for just a few moments. I rubbed my bruised arm, my eyebrow furrowing together. I could see my own hurt eyes mirrored back in his wide irises.
“I already am in this world,” I replied, trying to keep the tremors from my voice. I was on a dangerous path to almost crying in front of him. “I don’t need you to complete me, Simon.”
Hurrying away down the hall towards the Dragon’s wing, I ignored the burning in my eyes and attempted to steel my jaw. Clenching my fists, I resisted turning around to slap him when he finally called out his own reply.
“But you need an alliance with a bitter rival, don’t you? Go away to your Dragon, Freya, and see who you really want to complete you and draw you into their world. Mine’s not good enough. I get that.”
– all rights go to me, my original work as I attempt to finish out my Adventure Novel for school this year.
Question: have y’all ever had the issue of having chapters that turned out way longer than they should be to align with the proportions of the other chapters but you cannot leave anything out so they just end up looking weird and out of place? That is my predicament I’m afraid :(
I’m afraid that I haven’t been posting nearly as much, not for a lack of anything to write but I’ve been ridiculously busy with finishing senior year and finishing out my last year of basketball. Nationals is next week and I’ve been neglecting all sorts of writing and drawing that I’ve been meaning to get around to but haven’t yet. I plan on updating my DeviantArt page soon with my drawings and paintings and some writing soon to keep myself diverse in something other than just my novel for school. I’ve recently gotten back into writing The Honor Code, a story about a pirate that I wrote last year for NaNoWriMo. I’ve needed to rewrite it and get it back out there for possible publishing since I want to experiment with my work and see what it takes to become a published author. Also, I’ve begun planning for either my 2015 NaNoWriMo or just a project about a spy that I hope will take off once I get more inspired and fleshed it out more. My graphic novel needs work, and my next art projects will include multiple drawings of these characters and most likely a post asking anyone and everyone’s help in the art of graphic novels which I know very little, if anything, about.